Every year, I draw a Tarot card on my birthday.

Starting with a full deck, every birthday I draw a Trump card, to symbolize the year ahead.

2010 – the year of the Fool

2011 – the year of Art

2012 – the year of Fortune

2013 – the year of the Aeon

And now, 2014 – the year of the Star.

The Star trump XVII star thoth

The Star is where intuition leads to harmony.

This is a fitting card for this year, when I follow my intuition into unexpected turns of fate.

The Star is a card of deep, divine intuition. This card symbolizes a breakthrough, an opportunity to live as a greater version of ourselves.

The Star is where we become.

When the entire Journey of the Fool is examined as a progression from 0 to XXII, The Star is the place in the Trumps when the goal of enlightenment can be seen, sensed, and formally approached.

This is a year to shine.

The Birthday Week

We have become a Capricorn-heavy family. My son’s birthday is tomorrow, and my sister-in-law’s is on Friday, and her husband’s is a week later…and my wife and I celebrate our anniversary on the 11th, so for the Huntress Clan, the ‘holiday season’ hasn’t really ended yet.

At the moment we have a teething one year old (for one more day) and Johanna and I left him with grandparents for just enough time to go to coffee,  taste some ice cream at Salt and Straw, and walk down 23rd like an urbane couple. It was a great little date the kind that parents of toddlers don’t get to do very often.

Then we went back home to hang out with the kids, and the ones who weren’t teething agreed to play card games with me for a while. We had snacks, told jokes, and threw paper airplanes. It was good family time.

Then I went downtown, walked 23rd again (like I’m some sort of tourist, or something), got some candles and incense at New Renaissance, and sat down at Vivace for a strong cup of Russian Caravan tea, to begin my real work for the birthday:

The Desire Map

I gifted myself a print-version workbook of the Desire Map for my birthday, so I could sit down with a pen and identify my Core Desired Feelings with ink.

I have used the Desire Map before, the digital-only version. This introspective process allows you to identify your Core Desired Feelings, the ultimate goals behind every superficial goal that you set.

By using the feelings you want to feel as the guideposts along your journey, you can set moderate measurable goals on attaining those emotions, which can be a lot more fulfilling than setting goals for attaining stuff.

I didn’t find my 4 perfect words right away; I narrowed it down to a list of about fifty, and then I went to a yoga class.

While I was sweating in Hot Power Vinyasa, I was rolling around the potential words to represent my Core Desired Feelings in my mind, and somewhere in that sweaty trance, I emerged with the 4 feelings that I want to feel this year.

caelan huntress core desired feelings

The moment when I knew this was the right set was when I recognized each word corresponded to one alchemical element:

elemental fire alchemical symbol


elemental air alchemical symbol


elemental water alchemical symbol


elemental earth alchemical symbol


– Core Desired Feelings 2014

 Tonight, on my birthday, all across the world this evening, the World’s Biggest Book Club gathered Desire Mappers to talk about their CDFs.

I was set to lead a book club in Costa Rica today, but fate led us to the States instead. Instead of meeting with other desire mappers, I took the opportunity of my birthday to hone in solo on what I want to feel this year, and how I’m going to feel it.

This is, after all, the Year of the Star. The unconscious, the intuitive self, the emotions, they lead the way, and serve as the points of light that I use to navigate my journey.