EDIT: This was a prank for April Fool’s Day.

To everyone I have decieved, I’m sorry.

After talking it over with my family, we’ve decided to stop living a lie. Actually, we have to, because Johanna is taking our kids downtown to panhandle three days a week, and we’ve started seeing people we know.

We did take one vacation to Costa Rica in 2011. I got lots of photos. I’ve been plastering these photos all over social media for the past two years to hide the real truth:

I work in a cubicle in Gresham, a suburb of Portland. We live in my aunt’s barn.

I work for Comcast. They have me responding customer service emails, which takes less time than they require me to spend in this little cube. This has given me plenty of time to create the ‘tropical Caelan‘ you are used to seeing online.

Every day, I imagine myself back in tropical paradise. I thought, if I created this online persona that was living in Costa Rica, and everyone else believed it, then the Law of Attraction would magically manifest this amazing life, and I could finally get out of this cubicle.

I would love to leave America for the tropics, and go to a place where we didn’t continually go broke from medical bills.

But, that’s not my fate. I’m finally accepting the fact that I live in a cold, rainy place,Ā and I’m never getting out.

Me in my cube.

Me in my cube.