Costa Rica was a lie. I’m in Gresham.

//Costa Rica was a lie. I’m in Gresham.

To everyone I have decieved, I’m sorry.

After talking it over with my family, we’ve decided to stop living a lie. Actually, we have to, because Johanna is taking our kids downtown to panhandle three days a week, and we’ve started seeing people we know.

We did take one vacation to Costa Rica in 2011. I got lots of photos. I’ve been plastering these photos all over social media for the past two years to hide the real truth:

I work in a cubicle in Gresham, a suburb of Portland. We live in my aunt’s barn.

I work for Comcast. They have me responding customer service emails, which takes less time than they require me to spend in this little cube. This has given me plenty of time to create the ‘tropical Caelan‘ you are used to seeing online.

Every day, I imagine myself back in tropical paradise. I thought, if I created this online persona that was living in Costa Rica, and everyone else believed it, then the Law of Attraction would magically manifest this amazing life, and I could finally get out of this cubicle.

I would love to leave America for the tropics, and go to a place where we didn’t continually go broke from medical bills.

But, that’s not my fate. I’m finally accepting the fact that I live in a cold, rainy place, and I’m never getting out.

Me in my cube.

Me in my cube.

By | 2013-04-01T09:10:00+00:00 April 1st, 2013|Introspection|

About the Author:

Father of 3. WordPress website designer. Creative director @ Stellar Platforms. Writer, multimedia producer, digital marketer, and retired superhero.

No Comments

  1. Chris Lachmann April 1, 2013 at 9:37 am - Reply

    Is this an April fools joke?

  2. Peggy Collin April 1, 2013 at 9:45 am - Reply

    What?!!! (I’m so confused!) Lol

    • Caelan Huntress April 1, 2013 at 10:21 am - Reply

      Come on, Peggy! Lets go have coffee in Gresham, and I’ll tell you all about April Fish.

  3. Jeff Wackerly April 1, 2013 at 9:50 am - Reply

    Haha, good one! But it did its job, I just signed up to follow you on here. I’m not much of a social media person.

  4. Moss & Fog April 1, 2013 at 10:12 am - Reply

    Best post I’ve yet read today, Caelan! Thank you for a moment of shock, followed by my glance at the calendar…. 😉

  5. Gregg Berkholtz April 1, 2013 at 10:25 am - Reply

    I hate you!

    But keep being awesome 🙂

    • Caelan Huntress April 2, 2013 at 3:45 pm - Reply

      Will do. If for no other reason than to continue your envy, I will.

  6. Candia Sanders April 1, 2013 at 10:53 am - Reply

    Caelan, Incredible. Fortunately I was already thinking myself of an April 1st blog, however I have to say this is the best. You are hilarious and very good at your job. Thanks for making my morning.

    • Caelan Huntress April 2, 2013 at 3:46 pm - Reply

      Thanks, Candia! I have wanted to do an April 1 blog post for years, and on a whim I did this one in about ten minutes.

  7. James Rick Stinson (@jamesrick) April 1, 2013 at 1:54 pm - Reply


  8. Jane April 1, 2013 at 7:23 pm - Reply

    Wow – so I have been having a multidimensional cross consciousness dream with you AND your entire extended family that also included other corporate types in foreign languages (like the bank where your rent gets deposited…)!!!! Someone referred to Summerland recently as “Janestown” – I think this is getting a bit too psychedelic !

  9. Jane April 1, 2013 at 7:24 pm - Reply

    PS You look AWFUL in a cubicle!

  10. Ben Shalva April 1, 2013 at 7:32 pm - Reply

    God, you gave me a heart attack! 🙂

  11. Alfredo April 1, 2013 at 7:53 pm - Reply

    I’m lost

  12. Brian Lowery April 2, 2013 at 1:23 am - Reply

    DAMN! You had me at hello:) Wow that’s a good one.. and it could have been true!! In our new world of digital technology we could be anyone and live anywhere!!

  13. Crystal M. Trulove April 6, 2013 at 5:36 pm - Reply

    Ha ha. Good one, you crazy man! Thanks for giving me a start… even though it’s April 6th today. I was thinking, “Holy cow!” Then I thought, “Wait a minute… what day did he post this?”

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